Three years ago, my life changed. Allah decided I needed to grow up, and so He gave me a little tiny.
That little tiny is three today, and so my motherhood journey has been three years, or a little bit longer if you rewind back to the day the faint blue cross lines surprised me on the stick.
Fast forward three years, I look at my two little tinies, sleeping on either side of me now, and I wonder, oh I wonder, where do I begin giving thanks for every every everything that He has given me.
John Milton wrote ”Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.”
Everyday epiphanies, indeed. Signs of Allah’s grace, everywhere we go.
Among other things, motherhood has allowed me to see things I have never seen before, atuned and aware of this constant, endless stream of blessings from Him. Things stir me the way they never used to; the faint scent of freshly cut grass, the humming of the beetle pollinating the flowers, the softness of the bedlinen that we all snuggle under, dried leaves floating in puddles, the deep red hue of a flower.
On this 3rd anniversary of being a mother, I start this new blog to reflect on and speak about the the blessings of Allah, as a way of showing gratitude for having received them, for Allah (swt) has said: “And proclaim the grace of your Lord” (Qur’an 93:11). My hope is, by contemplating and reflecting all the He has provided (not material luxuries, but simple every day things, as simple as the breath that we take) that it is in thankfulness that the increasing mercy of Allah resides. For I am most in need of His mercy, and His reminders.
So I am counting my blessings, all the way to a thousand, probably beyond, because who could stop once you start to see them all?
No surprise for my first one…
#1 I am thankful for this little child called ‘Umar ‘Abdillah, who Allah loaned to us, on this day, 3 years go, and with His grace we celebrate his birthday in good health and happiness today. I am thankful for this incredible gift, cos through Umar, I learnt about love. He brought out the best and worst in me, and in doing so, draws me closer to Him, and to others around me. Through Umar, I learnt not to live a self-centered life, not to think too much of myself, not to lean on my own understanding, but to depend upon Allah and live constantly connecting with Him for every one of our needs.
Through Umar, Allah gave me new eyes. He allowed me see the world through his curious eyes; the world of butterflies and flowers, penguins, sharks and whales, and birds soaring up above. Umar who asks me to explain to him how the day merges into night, and make me frantically scroll through my Quran app to find the relevant verse that I remember only vaguely, not for Umar, but for me. For how do I teach if I am empty? How can I preach what I do not practice? As we struggle to fulfill our responsibilities as parents, constantly pondering on the Muslim personality that is our responsibility to mould, Umar has inspired us as parents to first, above and beyond all things, to lead by example, inshaAllah.